Nine Tenths Project
THE NINE TENTHS PROJECT:
The War Field
The leather journal in the picture above is my 2019 writing challenge. I’m calling this challenge, The Nine Tenths Project. It’s pretty straight-forward. I’m writing a story in single-page vingettes over the course of the year. I writer the rough draft of each in that hand-crafted Italian-leather journal. Once I write each page, I transcribe the story onto my Patreon page for people to read. Each new installment posts every day at noon Pacific Time.
I’m playing with voice, structure, and the nature of language as it relates to personality and identity. Each month contains a mini-arch in the main character’s story. For an extra challenge, everyone supporting my Patreon gets to suggest a word each month and I have to work those words somewhere into the story before the last installment of each month.
The language in The Nine Tenths Project can be a little tricky at first, but you should acclimate to the character’s alternative spellings and sentence structures after a bit of reading.
This page contains every installment from January, 2019
FIRST
We haz wurdz. We writ them down. Theze no just wurdz in hed. Theze no just wurdz in mouth. Theze wurdz what we can writ down an grip an kep. We haz no wurdz to kep from afor. We kant know if we kan kep wurdz in the later. But theze wurdz what in we’z handz now… theze be we’z wurdz. We wil take we’z wurdz home and showz wurdz to we’z tribe.
We hopez an prayz an all mannerz of azkinz for to kep the knowing of how to writ wordz in the later.
SECOND
We haz more wurdz. Another now and we keep writtinz wurdz. We lykez wurdz we canz kep in we’z handz. We do not know what gud these wurds be but we lykez em.
We write theze wurdz on back of parch ment we findz in the afore now in pouch of sum bigger bad thing what lookz sum kindz of ugly. Thiz be only parchment it haz afore what be we’z parch ment in the now. Almost fillz it with we’z wurdz. Wonder what other big big badz will haz parchment. We will search as we crozz the war field and go back to we’z tribe.
We findz bunch of parch ment.
Wurdz in we’z hed callz it a buk.
No.
Thiz wrong.
Book.
Yez!
Book iz wurd for parchment what iz in stack together.
So many wurdz we can haz in the later.
THIRD
We findz book on bigger bad whan not wearz hard metal. Scary bigger bad with wiz bang firez and windz and bad dyinz. Wez thynk thiz wiz bang bigger bad iz what killz the os of we what comez to big fight. We loze we’z tribe and we’z be lookin when all getz bright and loud and we’z alive while the other wez be ded. Wez hid until big fight iz dun. Noise stop long time a fore we comez frum hidinz. Now we’z alonesome but we haz wurdz. War field iz bigger than we think. Muzt be careful. Otherz…scary otherz comez to search. Sneak, sneak, an sneak more.
FOURTH
We kep hazin wurdz come into we’z hed what iz not we’z wurdz. Thiz makez sneakin harder. We tryz to kep we’z lookin and hearin an sniffin in the right now but sumtimez the wurdz come. We waz taken by big strong green nazty brute who sayz hez made we hiz slave.
No no no
We servez tribe. Tribe servez we.
Still we haz not the thinkin of how we can getz free of chain what big strong green nazty brute clampz on wez next. Big strong green nazty brute takez we’z book. Thatz when we decide we izn’t goin to run. We iz goin to punish. Not any one or thing goin totake we’z wurdz. Wurdz belong to we. We wait and wait until we sniffin up death adder shroomie and we crushez em into big strong green nazty brute’z stew. It slep the slep of no wakinz. Now we haz to get thiz chain of we’z neck.
FIFTH
Chain iz still stuck round we’z nek. Makez sneakin hard but we haz dug hole under big strong green nazty ded brute for hidinz. We iz no hunry. Big strong green nazty ded brute gud for eatinz after we cook it a bit. We no wurryz bout smoke from fyre. War field still haz placez what burnin from mighty wizbang. So much time we haz with wurdz in we’z hed. Never so much time in the a fore now to sit and wunder about thiz wurd and that wurd and what each meanz against other wurdz. Tricky an slippery and sneaky wurdz iz when we haz tyme to make consideringz. We even haz new wurdz what comez into we’z hed wha we haz never considerz a fore. New wurdz be close ro we but not and yet iz. We wunderz hard and long and strong bout thiz new wurd… me… What be me?
SIXTH
Me…
Odd wurd iz thiz me.
Like we only one we iz me.
Iz other wez in me’z tribe mez too?
Me iz strange.
Me iz alone.
Me iz sittin here with thiz chain still bout me’z nek but me no mynd az me iz buzy thynkin bout what it meanz to a me an not a we.
If me iz no more a we doez me still serve the tribe? Doez tribe still serve me? Will me still be me if me goes back to the tribe to be with the wez of the tribe. Doez me want to to goez back to being a we?
Sun iz settin.
Me iz hungry.
Big strong green nazty ded brute startin to taste bad. Only gud one more now. No more gud in the later.
Me muzt brek chain soon.
SEVENTH
Me makez wiz bang!!!
In the just a fore now me findz new wurdz in me’z hed. Strange wurdz. Wurdz lyke what the shazanmanz of tribe says for helpinz with huntinz an fightinz. Me kant bring themz wurdz back to me’z hed but me iz no mindin. Me iz free. Well… free nough.
Chain iz still bout me’z nek but iz shorter. Lyke nek lace thin Chiefmanz we wearz bout nek. Chiefmanz’z nek lace iz fanzier and sparklier than me’z nek lace. Doez thiz makez me bein Chiefmanz?
Big thinkinz theze be.
Me iz savin theze thinkinz for the later. In the now me iz for sneakin to fyndz fud what iz gud. Then me lookz for to findinz me’z way bak to tribe.
EIGHTH
Warfield iz bad place. Me wunderz why Chiefmanz agreez to come and fightz in big war. How could the wez of me’z tribe haz and hopez to live through thiz?
Just a fore writinz theze wuirdz me seez troop of bigger bad thyngz all in rowz. Theyz gotz them’z long spearz an shieldz all set for sum attak or such. Only theyz all iz trap up inn big block of ice. Me is wunderinz how long theyz be trap an how long in the later theyz stay trap.
As me iz writtin theze wurdz me hearz big loug crash sum where in the over yoon. Loud loud crash what soundinz lyke mesh up of thunder an shieldz smashin. Me haz no wantin to know what makez that crashinz.
Me iz hungry and thirzty an me’s fingerz an armz be sore frum writtin so much wurdz.
Me hatez war field.
NINTH
Me iz trap.
Trap iz strange
Me can move bout walkin bak an forth. No matter where me walkz me iz alwayz comin bak to spot wheere me iz writtin theze wurds. Writtinz helpz me with thynkinz. Me not able to thynk of how to think me’z way out of thiz trap.
In the a fore now me iz walkin all sneak lyke an me notice thiz rock. Rock iz nice size to sit on. Me rest. Then me goez bal to walkin. A short bit in the laterz but still in the a for now me seez a nother rock what iz lookin a nice size to sit on. Me all rest up frum first rock soez me kepz walkin. Again me seez a nother rock. Me takez a bit of writtin juice an markz rock and the me goez bak to walkin. A short bit after me comez upon rock what haz mark. Now me iz sittin on rock an thynkin on thiz trap.
TENTH
Trap iz stoopid. Me hatez trap. Only gud thyng drap doez iz bryng me fud.
Four ratz get caught in trap. Big ratz. Naztey kynd what sometimez follow around ded wizbang menz. Me catchez ratz. Eat one. Buildz me a fyre an smokez other ratz for later. Best part of ratz iz now me haz wittin juice with out me hazin to cut into me’z armz or handz or fingerz.
Eatin helpz me with thynkin. Me walk in every which wayz. Me always comez bak to rock. Me fyndz gud long stik. Me uze stik to make holez in grownd as me walkinz. With thiz me makez many holez. Me fyndz out how big stoopid trap iz. Big. Many stepz between where edge of trap snedz me bak to other edge of trap. Me feelz smart. Smart lyke Chiefmanz or Shazamanz. Then me thynkz again that me iz still stuck in trap. Maybe me iz smart in the later.
ELEVENTH
Me iz smarter than trap. Me still thynk trap iz stoopid. Who ever set trap iz sneaky clever. Trap iz big square around rock me iz sittin on. Who ever set trap took four small rockz and bury theze rockz some wayz from bigger rock. Takez me long long dayz and pokin many holez in ground to figure all thiz. One tyme in the a fore now me iz pokin an me hit somethyng hoard under the ground. Mt turnz out ro be small rock what iz lookin lyke big rock what me lykez to sit upon. Me walkz bout pokin an pokin and pokin an pokin. Fynd theze other rockz. When me touchez rockz and movez themz too far mez movez bak to big rock. Slow an slow me movez little rockz one at tyme an makez the trap square smaller an smaller. When me getz little rocks onto big sittin rock trap brekz. Me can start bak for me’z tribe. Gud thyng. Me haz fud and more writtin juice what iz not frum inside me.
TWELFTH
Me makez more wizbang.
Thiz wizbang iz different than wizbang what brek chain. Thiz tyme me makez wizbang with little rockz. Me decidez in the a fore tymez to bringz rockz with mez.
Me fyndz nazty stone an wood thyng lyke giant thyng but scarier. Big nazty stone an wood thyng comez chargin at me. Me haz new wurdz in me’z mynd. Me sayz wurdz and throwz rock. Rock hitz big nazty stone an wood thyng ryght in itz hed. Sound lyke big storm windz in treez comez an big nazty stone an wood thyng iz gone. Little rock dropz to ground.
Wurdz what me sayz is not in me’z mynd but me iz not mindin. Me is great wizbang shazaman. Tribe with two shazamanz iz sure to be stronger than tribe with one.
THIRTEENTH
War field iz big. Me walkz an walkz and walkz an still me never doez fynd edge. Every thyng lookz so different than when tribe comez in the a fore tyme. How can me be sure to know which iz the way bak to me’z tribe.
Me haz luck smyle upon me theze last dayz. In the a fore tyme mez haz figurinz that mez willl haz needz for thyngs tho to help with me gettinz from here to the edge of war field and then from there to tribe’z cavez. So me takez tyme from travelz an givez tyme to searchinz an scrounginz.
Me’z collectzun be fyne dandy. Two knyfez what can be for close fightinz or throwinz. One gud choppin ax. Water skin. Me fillz it frum stream what haz verty little blud in it. A nother book, mostly empty pagez. To sakz strap on me’z shoulderz. Leather stringz we takez frum bootz and shoez of ded. More rat meat which also givez me more writtin juice. Spyglass. One small red gem. Gud gearz for to get me home.
FOURTEENTH
Me killz bigger bad all by me’z self! When mez tell me’z tribe mez will leave out part where bigger bad haz not itz metal skin an that it haz not one arm. Bigger bad did haz sword in other hand. We cannot let other wez od me’z tribe read thiz. Mabe mez not let tribe haz secret of wurdz.
Me iz sneakin after a rabbit. Much better eatin than ratz. Me comez over hill at same tyme bigger bad comez over other hill. Me lookz at it. It lookz at me. It chargez me. Me’z heart poundz and poundz. Me’z mynd comez up with sneaky scheme. Me takez me’z wizbang rockz an me throwz em in a kynda square shape on the ground in front of me. Bigger bad goez into square an stayz in square. It tryz to leance an kant get out. It screamz. I pick up rockz. Normal rockz. Not me’z wizbang rockz and throws em at bigger bad’z hed. Bigger bad iz gud for eatin. Now me iz goin to search bigger badz pak and pocketz.
FIFTEENTH
Me haz been uzin new wurd a few tymez in me’z hed and in me’z writtinz without me realyzin until the now of thiz writtinz. This new wurd is wuz. Wuz iz lyke iz but when wittinz or thynkinz or talkinz bout thyngz what happin in the a fore now. Thiz givez me whole new wayz to thynk on thyngz whut haz happin.
Me wuz searchin body of bigger bad whn sum other smaller kynd lyke me comez sneakin bout the hill. Me takez me gud choppin ax in one hand an knyfe in other. They wuz lookin me over. Me wuz lookin them over. Me getz to countin theze other group of wez. One. Two. Three. Four. Theze no iz lyke the wez of me’z tribe. This iz kynd whut has the lookinz of comin frum lizard stock. So me an themz wuz standin wary lyke. Me takez choppin ax and hakz off bigger bad’z armz an me tossiz armz to theze other we. Thoze we eat armz an them themz wez smyle at me an gives me sum water. Wez all iz friendz now.
SIXTEENTH
Being with Lizwez – thiz whut me callz me’z new friendz iz we iz strange. Iz not lyke bein with wez of me’z tribe. Theze Lizwez talkinz so much more than wez of me’z tribe. Me iz thynkin that theze lizwez must talk in order to know whut the other wez of them’z tribe iz thynkin.Thiz iz so strange to me. Sumtimez me tryz to reach out to theze lizwez an know them’z mynd. Thiz iz juzt whut me iz uzed to. Well me uz uzed to it. Will me still be used to it whem me getze bak with the wez of me’z tribe?
A new wurd… Will… Lyke wuz but inzted of bein bout the a fore now it iz bout the the after now. Bout thyngz whut haz not happinz yet. Thyngz whut will happin. So much strangeness iz the differenze btween iz an wuz an will.Mis iz glad me iz not thynkin theze thyngz with the wez of me’z tribe. Lizwez haz no knowinz of whut mez wuz lyke in the a fore now. Me iz wurkin to underztand the lizwez;z hizzinz.
SEVENTEENTH
In all me’z thynkinz and wunderinz me forgetz to writ down treazurez me getz frum bigger bad. Firzt wuz gud eatinz. Me an Lizwez makez feast of bigger bad. Makez wez all better friendz. Me fyndz coinz silver and gold in bigger bad’z bag. Me splitz coinz with lizwez. If we iz all goin to be new tribe we iz all goin to haz to serve we. Bigger bad wuz wearin ring on finger. Mez found it a fore lizwez comez along. Ring fitz me’z thumb sumthyn snug. Pretty thyng. Gold with blue stone. Three metal flazkz whut is cork shut tyght. Me iz not sure it me iz ready to open. Bigger bad wuz carryin sword an two knyvez an crozzbow but haz no boltz. Me givz thoze to lizwez too. Me iz fyne and dandy with me’z weaponz.
One of the lizwez comez over to me when me wuz writtin wurdz in me’z book. Lizwe startz up with hizzin and lizwe pointz at wurdz. Me tryz to tell lize whut wurdz iz an whut me wuz doin. Me thynkz it myght be nyce to haz sumone elze to talk with bout writtin wurdz.
EIGHTEENTH
Me makez wizbang again. Thiz tyme wuz diffrant… differnt… different… yes… different than the lazt two tymes me makez wizbang. Me wuz thynkin and thynkin an even sum conzirerinz bout not bein able to talk with me’z new tribe of the lizwez. Theyz an mez almozt comez to fyghtin ove not hazin the knowin of each an other’z myndz.
Me an themz ambushez a pair of little baz which haz big hair on them’z facez. ONe of the Lizwez iz ded no becuz me an they wuz of different thynkinz of hor to attak. That makez lizwez mad. Them me an themz argue over what wayz to split the little badz’z gear. Me letz themz haz all of the gearz bein az themz iz more than me.
Me thynkz an the BANG! Wiz comez to me’z mynd. Me takez frum mynd an makez into wizbang brew outta smaller badz;z tongue tipz. A few wurdz writtin on parch ment, water, and a few shavez off a silver coin.
Now to see if me can getz lizwez to drynk me’z wizbang brew.
NINETEENTH
Me’z wizbang brew wurkz!
Took sum convninzin to get lizwez to try it but themz did after me takez a gud big swallo. Themz drynk it too. Now we iz talkin to each an othera lyke me an themz wuz born – or made in them’z case – to the same tribe.
We haz no travelin thiz day. All me an thmz wuz doin wuz talkin. We wuz… funny thynkin thiz iz… that me iz a we with the lizwez. Mow that me an themz haz the talk to one an otherz it feelz lyke me iz once more part of a we. Bezt part iz that me iz still me.
So we wuz talking all the day and into the nyght. We tellz storyz of we’z tribez. Of those whut iz now ded becuz of big battle. Themz lyke me wuz alwayz wunderin bout whut those whut call the battle hat the thynkin folkz of both we’z tribez could do in big battle other than dy.
Juzt a fore we finish eatin on one of the little badz and set down for sleepin on lizwe azkz, “Whut’z yur name?”
TWENTHIETH
Name
Me layz awake all through the nyght thynkin on that wurd…
Name
Me haz no name.
None of the wez of me’z tribe haz a name. Cheifmanz an shazamanz iz the clozezt of we whut haz a name. We wuz never hazin the needz for a name. We juzt knew which wez wuz not the wez which wuz we… that iz which wuz me. Me knowz whut wuz me even a fore me wuz hazin the knowin of the wurd me. At leazt me iz thynkin me did.
Me tellz the lizwez that me wuz never hazin a name a fore. Siltherzin iz the lizwe whut actz as themz chiefmanz sayz that themz will givez me a name. After we eatz the other smaller bad Siltherzin decidez me’z name.
Themz will call me, Wurdz.
TWENTY FIRST
Whut iz in a name?
Sumthyng in me knowz that Wurdz iz not a gud name for me. Me iz not knowin why or how me knowz but deep down it is not me’z name. But me iz not goin to argue with Siltherzin. Me haz the thynkin that if me arguez with the lizwez bout me’z name that themz will want the knowin of me’z name. Me wuz wrong. Me haz the thynkin that me haz a name an only me haz not the knowinz of the name becuz none of the mez of me’z tribe haz the knowin of we’z namez. So me iz goin to to kep the secret of me’z name to me’z self which is gud az me has not the knowin of me’z secret name.
Siltherzin wuz azkin again bout the knowin of wurdz. Him wuz the one whut wuz azkin a fore. With this name buzinezz an now me hazin thiz secret which me haz writtin down me is not so sure we wantz Siltherzin to has the knowinz of me’z wurds.
TWENTY SECOND
Sumthyng iz wrong with me. Each an every tyme me hearz one of themz Lizwez call me wurdz, me wantz to stab that lizwe with one of me’z knivez. Now, me iz never on to shy bak frum a gud stabbin, but sumtymez iz bezt not to get too stabby ezpecially when me iz out numbered. Not gud plan.
Me alzo kepz seein Siltherzin watchin me close whn me wuz writtin down wurdz in me’z book. Ever so now an again Siltherzin wuz azkin bout wurdz an writtin and readin. I wuz tellin him him than when readin, he’z got to go frum the bottom to the top az that’z how readin wurkz az oppoze to writtin. Me doez not know if that’z goin to make it harder for him to read but me kant imagine it will be eazier.
Themz Lizwez iz standin a bit awayz and makin with whisperinz. Me iz sure not lykin that side look whut Siltherzin wuz juzt givin me.
Me needz to shed mezelf og thiz companionship.
TWENTY THIRD
Sumthyng iz really wrong with me.
When me wuz sleepin me wakez up an seez siltherzin goin through me’z pak. Me knowz whut him wuz lookin for. Me’z book with me’z wurdz. Him wuz no goin to fynd it there. Me haz been uzin me’z book to rest me’z hed since Siltherzin startz up with azking bout wurdz and such.
So… Me just playz lyke me iz still sleepin. Far az me can tell Siltherzin took nuthin frum me’z pak. Me wuz checking when it wuz me’z turn to stand watch with one of the other Lizwez.
Me make wizbang again. Me wuz thynkin bout how me could sneak away when the wizbang wurdz come into me’z hed. Me speakz the wurdz an the Lizwe whut wuz watchin with me droopz off to sleepin. Me gatherz me’z gear an runz off into the nyght.
Me shoulda cut all them’z throatz.
Whut is wrong with me’z?
TWENTY FOURTH
Me iz alone again.
Me wuz wanderin bout the war field lookin for an edge. Dayz and dayz me wuz wanderin. Now me iz sittin and wunderin.
Strange it iz them two wurdz… wanderin an wunderin… so cloze themz iz to on an other. Almozt iz lyke wunderin iz when me’z mynd goez wanderin inzyde of me’z hed juzt to see where bout it will go.
Me iz no lykin bein alone. Me iz thynkin me is meant to be part of a tribe. Part of a we that iz more lyke me than them Lizwez. Me needz to be with sum wez what iz more connected in we’z hedz so we haz the knownin of one an other’z myndz.
Seein more otherz wanterin bout the war field. Me iz goin to have to be sneakin better than me wuz sneakin a fore.
Me mizzin me’z tribe.
TWENTY FIFTH
Thiz day wuz almozt bad. Me came close to lettin two bigger badz fynd me. Me wuz makin sure me wuz not bein followed by sum crawlin snake an bug mix up thyng when me hearz two voicez goin on bout sumthyng fierce an mad. Them wurdz gives me juzt enough tyme to hyde a fore two bigger badz drop into big ditch me wuz uzin for sneakin.
One of them bigger badz has bladez and bladez an more bladez. Nor themz big hakz and cutz bladez. Them pokez an stabz bladez. Him iz on of them nazty sneaker and vizciouz bigger badz.
Next on be on of them bigger badz whut make wizbang. Him iz wearin dark robe an carriez big staff with glowin rock at one end. Wizbang bigger bad speakz wizbang wurdz whut me haz no knowin of. Then themz makez camp.
Me will stay safe ryght here until themz wakez up and goez away.
TWENTY SIXTH
Me decydedz that me wuz goin to follow them two bigger badz. While me wuz stuck hydin me’z mynd ent wanderin into wunderin bout whut ever iz goin on with me. It iz not normal whutever thiz myght be. Me iz thinkin wizbang bigger bad myght give me sumthying that myght tell me whut. An sneakin behynd them iz easier since them iz big and notizable.
Themz fyght one of thoze mazzive ugly an dumb brutez with two hedz whut wuz fyghtin on we’z syde in the Big War. Mazzive ugly an dumb brute almozt killz sneaker bigger bad with nazty spiky club. Wizbang bigger bad speakz wizbang wurdz whut me knowz… well… sort of. One of them ugly hedz fallz asleep. Half of mazzive an ugly brute’z body stopz wurkin. Other hed startz yellin for the othe3r hed to wake up. Me haz to byte me’z finger to kep frum laughin. Almozt bytez me’z finger off.
Me will kep followin theze two bigger badz an fynd out whut elze me can learn.
TWENTY SEVENTH
Me iz so happy me decyded to kep me’z eyez on them two bigger badz. After them wuz fyghtin mazzive ugly and dumb brute with two hedz, me makez choozin to kep me’z diztance frum them. Me has been watchin them with me’z spyglass. Thiz morning me seez the wizbang bigger bad lookin over him’z book only him iz not writtin in the book. Him’z lipz wuz movin an him’z armz wuz wavin lyke themz wuld if him wuz makin wizbang only no wizbang wuz happinin.
Whut iz that bout?
Whut is that wizbang bad doin?
Me needz that book.
Me haz to haz it an learn it’z secretz.
Me will wait an watch and make me a scheme for gettin that book.
TWENTY EIGHTY
Me iz in trouble.
Me wuz tryin to get wizbang bad’s book and sumthynin went wrong. Me wuz sneakin lyke me wuz never sneakin a for. Me knew ryght where that wizbang book wuz cause me wuz watchin that wizbang bad with me’z spyglass. Himz put wizbang book in him’z pak after him makez with the wavin of him’z arms. Me waitz an waitz enough tyme for them to get nice and a sleep and then me sneakz down to them. Juzt to be safe a for me goez into them’z camp me makez the wizbang sleep at them two bigger badz.
Only…
Me’s wizbang doez no work. Big Flash flarez between me an them. Big noize goes speakin, “Warning. Danger. Hostile spell detected.” Kepz goin on and on lyke that as me runz away.
When me lookz for them with me’z spyglass themz wuz comin for me.
TWENTY NINETH
Thiz may be me’z lazt writtin.
Themz bigger badz still comin after me. No matter whut me tryz, no matter how sneaky me iz, themz kepz on me’z trak.
Part way through the day me tryz to uze me’z rockz to trap them bigger badz. Set them rockz up gud an far frum each an other. Me watchez with me’z spyglass to make sure themz is trapped a for me makez for hard runnin.
Firzt tyme trap moves them, wizbang bigger bad haz the known of it. Now them iz still comin for me an me doez no haz wizbang rockz.
Nyght is comin an so them bigger badz make camp. Wizbang bad doez that thyng with wavin him’z armz. Part of me wantz to go and slit them’z throatz while them iz sleepin but if me’z wizbang kant get to themz me haz the thynkin that me kant get to them.
If you two bigger badz fynd me’z book an readz it me hopez sumthyng big an nazty eatz you.
THIRTIETH
Today me wuz runnin so hard to get away frum them bigger badz that me forgetz all bout sneakin. Thiz wuz dumb dumb an more dumb. Me letz Lizwez know ryght where me wuz. All three of themz wuz waitin in hydin for me. Me’z mynd wuz hazin gud luck az me got a scheme as soon as me seez them.
“Me iz so glad me fyndz you,” me sayz.
Siltherzin lookz at me with sum kynd of suzpizion. “Why when you runzzz frum uzzz after we wuzzz friendzzz?”
“Iz me’z tribe wayz to haz tyme by we’z self ever so now an again.” Me sayz. “We speakz with we’z anczeztorz in this way. Azk them’z guidance. Themz led me to gud treazure but my needz help gettin it.”
“What treazzzzure?” Siltherzin azkz.
“Wizbang book for you,” me sayz.
Siltherzin smylez. “Letzzz go get thizzz book.”
THIRTY FIRST
Me haz not been az scared az me wuz to day since the Big War killz so much of me’z tribe.
The Lizwez an me setz up an ambush for them two bigger badz. We wuz cleverz and scheminz an we set up where we wuz goin to be an how we wuz goin to attak. Me wuz layin in the mud me’z mynd wuz thynkin in this scheme of me’z own. Me’z scheme may every well be that both me’z enemy turn against me. But by the tyme themz Lizwez bury me in me’z ambush spot it wuz too late to wurry bout any of it. Me juzt haz to lay an hope me iz cleverer than me’z enemyz.
After sum tyme of waitin me hearz sumthying comin. Footstepz trompin an stompin and skwelchin in the mud bout me. After a bit of tyme me hearz themz bigger badz talkin to on an other.
“Must we go through absolutely every mud field?”
“Must you constantly complain?”
“Even with magic, do you have any idea how hard it is to clean this kind of blood-soaked muck out of my boots and robes?”
“Do you have any idea how long it would take to gather the items of power that we have over the past week under other circumstances? Once we get able to civilized lands, you’ll have enough money to meet whatever sense of aesthetic you like.”
Them’z talkin soundz ryghter in me’z mynd than sum of me’z thynkin, but only part of me’z mynd. In thynkin bout that me mizzed the start of the fyghtin. Never did it mater as me was no plannin on bein part of the fyght. Me wuz juzt goin to wait an then kill who ever survivez in them’z sleep.
But…
then…
Me scramblez out of the mud. Me standz tall. Themz bigger badz an themz Lizwez wuz fyghtin sumthyng fierce. Hard an bloody.
Me wavez me’z handz. Me speakz in a voice loud and clear and the wizbang… magic… flows from my hands. Fire erupts around my enemies.
When fyre clearz me goez an cutz all them’z throatz juzt to be sure themz iz ded.
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