Blogtober 6 – Challenges of Being a Writer
Yesterday I talked about hating being a writer.
I remember back when I used to love being a writer.
I loved being a writer when I thought all the conventions I went to where I didn’t make a profit were an investment. They would pay off in the long run. It was earning street cred and building lasting relationships with the organizers of those conventions. Eventually, someday, all that hard work, hustle, sweat equity, handshaking, and planning for future years at those conventions would be the foundation of my literary empire.
The thing is, I’m still working hard, hustling, sweating, without so much equity, shaking hands, and trying to build new relationships. Sometimes, it seems I have less to show for it now than I did when I got going. I still don’t have an empire. It’s more like a trading post on the edge of the wilderness.
I love going to cons. LOVE! I am a social creature. I am the kind of extrovert who makes other extroverts go, “Dude. We get it. But, chill, you’re a bit much.”
This has only gotten, well, MORE since I’ve cleared up quite a bit of the mental health garbage that’s been cluttering up my brain since I was a kid. So… if you experience me at a con, I know I’m a bit much, and I understand if you need a break from Gallowglas. On the other side of that coin, you’re unlikely to ever notice the weight around my spirit that comes with me going to a con.
For me, conventions are about money. I’m there to sell books, get new students, and conscript people into the Gallowglas Army. Being perpetually broke, I have to break even at a con… It’s a bare minimum MUST. Otherwise, my frugal and basic quality of life suffers. Yeah, I have a good time doing it, but that’s the bottom line. Breaking even. Bare minimum. And, let’s face it. Cons are expensive. Especially because most cons expect anyone who is not a guest of honor to foot the bill for going, especially when a writer is first starting out. But even those of us who have made it.
Over the years, I developed relationships with people running programming at several conventions so those coins offered me considerations to attend those cons which included taking care of my hotel room, a dealer’s room table, and even a couple of times, they’ve given me a slight per diem for food and travel expenses. Each and every one of those people I formed those relationships with no longer works with those conventions, and now those conventions either want me to pay all my expenses again, or they haven’t invited me to attend at all.
In the publishing world, I’m mostly self-published. My few forays into mainstream publishing have been sub-optimal. I won’t mention names, but I’ve given the same amount of hustle to my mainstream publishing as I did with my self-publishing, with little or no support from my publisher. So, basically, I did everything I normally do for another business entity to reap the benefits of what I normally do. For one publisher, I committed probably around 100 hours to an awesome project, only to have flimsy support, and then to have them pull the plug at the last minute. Oh, and because of that, I have an awesome story that I can’t really do anything with.
So yeah… I’ve reached the point where being a writer ain’t so much fun anymore.
But writing… I still fucking LOVE writing. Writing is amazeballs. Writing has saved my life. More than once.
I wish I could afford to write my stories and put them on the Internet for free, but I haven’t managed to break free of this soul-sucking, late-stage, free-market capitalist hellscape. And HBO, Amazon, and Netflix aren’t returning my calls or emails. So… i gotta keep learning how to be a writer while also doing the writing. It’s the nature of the beast.
OK… I lied about something. I’m gonna mention a couple of names.
First, I wanna give a shout-out to Jennifer Brozek and Evil Girlfriend Media. I have two stories with them in separate anthologies. Jennifer Brozek was the editor. She was amazing to work with in a professional capacity, and each step of the process of publishing those stories with EGM was pure joy.
Second, I want to give a shout-out to David Boop. He invited me to an anthology, and I pitched him this crazy idea of an epic gunfight tavern poem. He gave me the thumbs up to give it a try. Every step of the way, he encouraged me and assured me that he would buy it, even though I doubted his sincerity. But, I kept going because I was having a hell of a lot of fun writing the thing. He bought it. About a month ago, I got the check. The anthology will be out next year. That experience was pretty awesome.
So… Sometimes being a writer can be really cool and rewarding. Most of the time, however, it’s just another facet of this soul-sucking late-stage free-market capitalist hellscape.
But I love writing. So, I’m gonna go work on an awesome story. Buy a book!
