Tell A Story Chain part 19
Well, it’s back to me again. This thing has gone in places I never expected.
To see my post that started this strange and awesome journey, go here. To see a complete list of the participants and their posts in the story, go here.
Now, for my next entry:
***
“Get back you idiots!” the elf screamed, smashing though a window.
He’d put it all together as he’d rushed toward tremendous Fortress Boudoir of the Assembly General. And while his heart yearned, nay burned, to exact justice and vengeance for what had happened to Princess Zyx, he understood that he might need someone capable of the subtlest forms of minutiamancy, and that meant lawyers.
Both lawyers looked up, a bit bewildered and confused – Irwin even more so – as the android returned, not on the elf’s trail as would be expected, having been sent after the elf, but rather back from the sea of marinara sauce soaking the foundry. The troll followed close behind the android, grinning wider than a gibbering mouther at an all-you-can-eat buffet. The troll worked its thumbs and forefingers on one of the most illegal objects in the civilized regions of the multi-verse – the iDroid Universal remote.
“Now that I gots both yous lawyers together,” the troll snarled, “It’s time to snip out some loose threads.”
With a series of practiced quick button and trigger movements – A…B…right trigger…right up…left down…Y…left down…both triggers – the android turned toward both lawyers and Gratzgia Snulgrithn aka Snolthrign Giatztarg.
“I’m sorry sir,” the android said, and opened fire with all weapons systems.
While minutiamancy is arguably the most powerful of the subtle arcana, at the highest and most secret levels able to bend even the strictest bureaucratic laws of reality, it has a problem standing up to high caliber weapon fire, not to mention lasers, flame throwers, and other tools built into the android to transform living beings into no-longer-living beings.
Irwin, Evenlyn, and Gratzgia Snulgrithn aka Snolthrign Giatztarg died screaming.
The troll’s thumbs and fingers blurred on the iDroid controller.
The android turned to the elf.
***
“This is bad,” Princess Zyx said as she watched the carnage. “That troll is looking like the most bad ass creature in the battle. Unacceptable.”
“Desperate times,” Burbleglax said. “Desperate measures?”
“Indeed,” Zyx said. “I believe we are entitled to execute a Tolkien protocol.”
“Indeed,” Burbleglax, who happened to be the princess’s chief practitioner of minutiamancy. He looked at the elf through the viewing portal. “Enact File 324526. Peter Jackson addendum. Page 438 paragraph 4.”
***
A whirlwind of light surrounded the elf, turning aside the weapon fire. When the light faded, the elf had become taller, just over six feet. Blond, blue eyed, features to melt the heart of any teenage fangirl, he looked down, a half smirk playing on his lips. A bow appeared in his hand. The fletching from the arrow secreting gland in his right shoulder blade poked up, ready to be drawn and fired. Another arrow would appear after that. It would not do for elves under the effect of the Tolkien Protocol to look bad for something as simple as running out of arrows.
“Oh, it’s on now,” the elf said, lifting the bow and drawing the first up his unlimited supply of arrows. “Bring it.”
The elf and android started firing.
***
Next up is my good friend, Christopher Kellen. I’ll post a link directly to his post when it goes live tomorrow morning.
