Daily Rant – Spoilers…or…Aren’t You Special That You Got To See That Midnight Showing
Last night Star Trek: Into Darkness played for the first time in public theaters for the general public. One of the big questions is: Who exactly is Benedict Cumberbatch playing in the movie. I’ve enjoyed speculating along with many of my friends, but I have been avoiding anything that remotely resembles a potential spoiler from mass-market media. When I watch movies, I want to be surprised.
I despise spoilers so much that I almost refused to see Terminator 2 because of the massive Arnold as a good guy trailer they made spoiling their own movie back in the early 1990’s. I almost stuck a knife in a friend two summers ago for revealing how John Snow’s story arch ended in A Dance With Dragons. He hadn’t intended to spoil it, we’d been reading it at the same time, and I’d been a little ahead of him until he’d gotten a few extra hours of free time.
So… Now I wake up and jump onto Facebook, and within minutes Benedict Cumberbatch spoiler. No warning. Just, here it is. Spoiled. And what’s more, the spoiler was posted 5 hours ago…What’s more, it was posted 5 hours ago via his mobile. Lemme do some quick math and a little extrapolation from deductive reasoning… Oh…wow… that puts it about right about the time the midnight showing would be over in my time zone. Did I mention the part about no warning. I had to deal with this blow before coffee. (I like to check my morning social media while it’s brewing.)
So basically, Mr. Helpful decided to post this so that he could spoil this for any of his 339 friends not fortunate enough to get out to see a movie at 12:01 am on a Thursday morning. He pal… here’s a secret you may not be privie to…Some people have jobs. Some people have kids to take care of. Hell, some people may be eager to see the movie, but it’s just not important enough to lose the sleep to be the first to see it.
In the Firefly episode, “Our Dear Mrs. Renolds,” Shepherd Book warns Captain Mal about a “special” hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater. I’d like to nominate people who post spoilers without warnings be included in that bunch.
So, yeah, this “special” guy just ruined months of anticipation for me. While I’m still going to see the movie, because I understand that it’s going to be more than sum of its parts, I’m still pretty ticked off. No. Let’s be honest. I’m pissed. The only thing that is saving my “special” facebook friend from a full blown social media jihad is the adorable little seven-month-old Miss Megan being incredibly cute and distracting me just enough so that venting over my blog is enough to get me over it and to try and get on with my day.
So I’ll leave off with this: Please, for the love of whatever you hold holy, whether it be God, a god, many gods, your ancestors, Joss Whedon, whatever… Hold it in. No matter how much your fingers burn to tell the world how awesome you are that you got to see the movie or read the book before everyone else, please, oh please. Don’t be THATguy. We will never know your sacrifice, but that’s how it is with true heroics.
Be a hero. Don’t be “special.” No spoilers.
